So here’s an article from Gawker (Side note: I’m NEVER on that website, but I think I might have to start reading it, being a New Yorker and all. Arg) about the soon-to-be ex-wife of Tesla CEO Elon Musk. She’s been blogging about her divorce. That’s right, she’s blogging about arguably one of the most emotionally painful things someone can go through. You might think that sounds tacky, along the lines of bitching out your ex on their Facebook wall or tweeting that you just had a miscarriage. (It’s been done, seriously.) But she does it with such class. She responds to critical comments in an evenhanded way. She blogged her specific financial demands with thoughtful commentary on whether she deserves it, or needs it, or earned it. That’s an interesting approach, and one that seems to be paying off.
When I started my blog, I didn’t really give much thought to the issue of airing dirty laundry. I figured I would just know if something crossed the line. But I often find myself staring up at the ceiling, tapping the keys, wondering if blogging about lingerie, a date, feminine products (still not sure about that one) and finally a breakup, is too much.
That last event, the breakup, really put me in a tough spot. There were a few things to consider. First, do you, as a reader of Clean Hippie, really care if I break up with my boyfriend? In my posts I try to focus on fun, sustainable things to do in New York. Naturally my relationship would come up as Scott and I explored the city together. But what is fun/eco-friendly about a breakup?
Hmm… indulge me as I think out loud here. If you follow my blog, you know that I have an insatiable appetite for all things new/interesting. I love to share stories about markets, bars, shops, and events in NYC. So I guess my breakup is relevant. Because in the end, that’s one of the reasons why I broke up with Scott. He wasn’t adventurous or curious enough for me. I would drag him out to an oyster bar or a museum or a movie, and his reaction was polite at best, and downright bored at worst. He knows this is true. So now I’m on the search for a guy that shares my passion of travel, trying new things, and at least recycles. Composting would be a bonus.
Uh oh, that brings me to my second consideration. The feelings of people involved. You had better believe Scott saw my post announcing the break up. He got it in an email from a friend titled “DID YOU SEE THIS?” I was just trying to end the post on an upbeat note, and, well, it did not go over too well. Sigh. He’ll probably see this post too….
And then there is just the issue of being tacky. Talking about personal stuff online can be the opposite of classy. Yes, Mrs. Musk gets applauded for laying bare her financial demands, but not because it’s the thing to do. She is a public persona with a very wealthy husband. She knows it’s going to come out in the papers anyway, so she’s heading it off with her own explanation.
So yeah, Mrs. Musk and I are very different people. No paper, or even blog, will write a salacious story about my break up. There was nothing salacious about it really anyway. Just a sad conversation and a month of no contact, save for a few emails exchanged on the subject of sending back his tennis shoes. So maybe this post isn’t even necessary. What good will it do me?
But whatever, I’m going to post it. I often make poor life decisions, and this might be one of them. But I think at some point every blogger has to do a “I’m just going to lay it bare for you” post, whether it’s on a personal issue, admissions to a shortcoming, or just decisions about how to run their blog. Isn’t that what the internet is all about? Transparency?
And soon I want to start posting about the dates I’ve been on. I’ve been to some great restaurants and done some awesome things, and I’ve kept my mouth shut for fear of hurting you-know-who’s feelings. I think it’s time though. With the permission of my subject, I’ll start blogging about my dates moving forward. I still haven’t figured out this whole thing of private vs. public, but who has?