Ok, I’m not an all or nothing type of girl. Some people are. Take Scott, my boyfriend. When he says, “I’m not going to drink,” he means he’s not going to drink. Ever, anytime, no matter what the occasion. Me, when I say “I’m not going to drink,” it means, “If the opportunity for drinking doesn’t present itself, and I can easily find an excuse for not drinking, then, I won’t drink.
So you can see where this is going. The Clean Program is very stringent. One shake in the morning, a “regular lunch” (which isn’t actually regular, it consists of quinoa and vegetables usually) and a shake for dinner. With pills and powder.
I’ve been pretty good about it this week. I haven’t eaten anything against the rules. (Ok, I filched two quaker rice cake bites from my roommate.) But obviously I’m worried about this weekend. It’s easy to plan your eating schedule when you work every day. I make a shake for breakfast, pack a lunch, and wait until I get home to have a shake for dinner. And then I eat 5 tablespoons of almond butter and feel guilty. I did that three nights in a row, no joke.
Well, the tub of almond butter is gone, but I have the prospect of a weekend of parties looming ahead of me. I know myself, and I know that after 30 seconds of someone saying, “Hey! Why aren’t you drinking?” I’ll go grab a beer. In fact, I’ve already had three and it’s 6:30 on Friday. Yup, there was a work party on the roof and I had three beers. Not in the cleanse program. Maybe if I take some of those supplements it will negate it? Not likely.
Scott will disapprove.
Anyway, knowing that we have dinner plans, I had a shake for lunch instead. It was so beautiful out! Most of my work stuff was on hold, waiting for someone else to address it, so I snuck out of the building and walked a couple blocks to the Energy Kitchen to grab a smoothie.
When I walk to and leave work, the neighborhood is almost deserted. But today, there were plently of people out in the sunshine. I walked past a young guy lounging in his open window drinking a beer while his friend chatted idly behind him. A gay man with gauges in his ears, leaning against a wall, complimented me on my necklace. Joggers passed me, cyclists whizzed by.
Long story short: I got the shake. I’m ruining my cleanse already, and whatever, life is good.