So, I actually did briefly date a hippie between freshman and sophomore year. Wow, what an experience. He worked in body care section of Whole Foods and thought that the trails coming out of jets was a government plot. He made good organic blackberry pancakes and would soothe my hangovers with giant all-natural hangover pills. What a guy.
That was just a lark, though. In reality, I have no interest in dating a hippie. For the most part they have zero ambition beyond “overthrowing capitalism” or something. I, on the other hand, am ambitious and enjoy what capitalism can bring me. You know, when it’s not being evil and all.
So that puts me in a weird position. Where does one find a guy who always buys the expensive drinks and also the organic food for dinner? Beats me.
The point of all this is that I’ve been invited on a date for Wednesday. I’m not particularly excited about it. I met this dude out on Saturday – he’s a friend of a friend. I’m pretty sure he wears product in his hair, and I distinctly remember his white/black pinstripe button down. Yeah. But he was just SO pushy I was like “FINE! Here’s my number!”
He called me up Sunday night to plan our little rendez-vous. I let him suggest a place. “Do you like chocolate?” he asked.
“Sure, chocolate is good.”
“Well there’s this place that revolves completely around chocolate, even the pizza. It’s my favorite restaurant.”
I went along with it, but after I hung up I realized that the thought of a whole dinner doused in chocolate was already making me feel bloated. Then I thought, why not kill two birds with one stone? Try out a good organic restaurant and scope out the open mindedness of this dude. That or scare him away!
When he calls back today, which he said he would do, I’m gonna ask him to take me to another restaurant. i looked on Greenopia for green restaurants, cut out the vegetarians places (that might be pushing it), and looked for the one with the best rating on Zagat. I came up with Savoy at Prince and Crosby St. It looks like great local organic food. Oh, and it’s expensive, heh.
Here’s the thing, I won’t tell him it’s organic. I want to see his reaction. I figure when he sees that it’s an organic place, he’ll do one of four things:
1. “Wow, you like organic food? Me too! I’m so glad we met.”
2. “I’ve keep hearing about organic food but don’t know much about it. Could you fill me in on why it’s so wonderful?”
3. Silence. Because he’s grateful that I ever said yes to a date in the first place and doesn’t want to f- it up.
4. “Organic food? Seriously? Are you like a tree hugger or something?” At which point I’ll tell him to get the hell out of the restaurant so I can enjoy my food in peace.
Honestly, I hope he does number four, because I really could care less. I just want the food, thanks.